every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
