why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
what is it with giant penises always finding me
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
