im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I'm always down for nudity.
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