I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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