Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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