dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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