Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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