Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Randomize
