i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
