I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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