Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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