Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
