i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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