woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
