so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
