So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
BRING THE BAGELS
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Randomize
