Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
