Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
