what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
