I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
