I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
