We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
