So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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