I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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