don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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