forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize