You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
i now understand why vodka
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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