woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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