btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
We talked him into tasing himself.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
