Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
