I look better un-naked...
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
