come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
