I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
