why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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