Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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