I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
