Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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