You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
