When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
