none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
