Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
a search helicopter?!
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
