ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
