Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
