am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
