Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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