I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
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