Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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