So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
So here I am, sexting at work.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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