I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
