even my farts smell like vagina
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
